David Vs Goliath

DEARLE & HENDERSON have a face off between their veterans and the young up-starts out of the office and onto the football field.

As the two teams entered the capacity filled stadium to the sound of the familiar champions league anthem for this clash of the titans at Hampden Park, Glasgow, the players awoke from the dream of a champions league final appearance to the harsh reality that they had been sent to Scotstoun in Glasgow to play in the very interesting five a side encounter between the young upstarts and the veterans from the Dearle and Henderson Glasgow office. Still wondering what they had done to deserve this assignment they walked the short distance from the car park to the sun bathed arena in time to witness a meeting of the players who were trying to establish how to open the gate. The old problem that the architects wanted to discuss how they could have design the gate and lock better, the quantity surveying could have provided a cheaper solution and the building surveyors were just happy that there was a gate which would open. Finally the players entered the playing area in a variety of dated strips suggesting that some had not played for some time. It was not long into the game before the rustiness of the skills came to the fore.

In a rash decision the young upstarts had transferred the rather fit Alistair Cameron to the veterans and this proved their downfall as the game progressed. As the referee blew his whistle to start the game the veterans showing a dazzling lack of ability in the glare of the sun, gingerly moved towards the young upstarts goal and ghosting in from the right Cameron toe poked a shot in to the top right hand corner with the goalkeeper still trying to line up the creases in his shorts. As the match went from end to end and goals were exchanged the veterans moved to the passing game using the one man goal machine Cameron who time and time again crashed the ball into the back of the onion bag which bulged with aplomb. Disaster then struck for the veterans as Fergus Gourlay pulled a muscle he did not know he had and was required to leave the field immediately and also to remove the offending rugby top he was wearing. During a lull in the play to allow the veterans to take turns to use the oxygen mask the young upstarts were awarded a penalty which was saved by the veterans’ goalkeeper Skinner. To be fair this was his only contribution as he tended to hide for the rest of the game. Midway through the match the spectator was already asleep and was only awakened by the shouts of “can we have our ball back please” as another Priesty shot sailed over the 6metre high perimeter fence. It was a game played in good spirit with little contact as all the players could not tackle a fish supper. The veteran Alan Campbell found the modern surface difficult being used to playing on ash and was often found falling to the ground in instalments like St Mirren’s end of season relegation push which failed at the expense of (ICT or Falkirk) Paterson was a work horse for the young upstarts with his two left hoofs and his goal keeping was outstanding as he kept the veterans score down.

As Cameron crashed in yet another goal questions were being asked of the young upstarts defence. They were still answering these questions as the veterans went up the park and scored again. The result was never in doubt as the veterans ran out worthy winners with their slick passing, zone marking and their secret weapon (Alan Campbell’s trackie bottoms). As the final whistle drew closer injuries were becoming more frequent with many bruised egos, fitness frailties and hair out of place to the fore. Finally the final whistle blew and the attendants rushed on to the park to guide the veterans round the park in a victory hobble.